On My Way

We all want somebody to love
Somebody to hold
Somebody to lie beside
Because the nights are cold
But will the degradation
To our baser instincts
Consume our souls
Confuse the common urge
For something we’ve never observed
Don’t let me go
Till I take my final breath
Then I swear I’ll set you free
Don’t leave me here without you
Though you can stay without me
I don’t want just
Another heartbeat beside me.
Familiar hope only your scent gives me
Just give me this life
Then I swear I’ll be on my way.
We all want somebody to love
Somebody to hold
Somebody to lie beside
Because our lives can be cold.
-AJ Sandhu 2015

Human Plight

I don’t know where happiness lies
In this human plight
I just know there must be
Something better in this life

Have I earned the right to know
Earned the right to say
Or is this just another dream
Is this just another play

I’m sitting on the edge of today
But I haven’t earned the right to stay
I’m not part of this
I never was

I’m just here to show
At least someone cared
That someone was holding on
To all of the moments shared

Do I take a humble leave
Or do I keep holding on
Hoping that I break through
To what potential we had when this began

My patience is waning
Though this is nothing new
How long can I keep waiting
Before I give up on you?

I will never know where happiness
Lies in this human life
I just know there must be
Something better for which we flight.

AJ Sandhu 2015

Tragedy of the Commons

You stand and suffer in silence
You hold and suffer alone
Don’t let anyone in
Don’t let anyone see
Or they’ll find out you’re not
As strong as you seem.
And wouldn’t that be
The greatest tragedy of them all?
To know you’re just
As fallible as you feel.
Now stand and suffer dear
The cold dark humanity
Of a world bound by fear.
Our truest display
Most honest reality
Reverence for the ancestors
That carved their way
Into our genetic reams.
Refusing to see
All we despair
All we fear
Is the same everywhere.
Because we must be alone in the play
No one else would believe
Every tale’s been told before
Just players on a stage
Waiting for eternal leave.
Can’t you see
We’re the same?
You and I?
Regaled by
The beautiful lie
Only ourselves to blame.
-AJ Sandhu 2015

Divide

Here where silences grow
Of their own accord.
I’ll find my way back again
So let me wander
Where words scream aloud
Always knowing my silences
Are safe, until I need them most
Life changing with a moment
Words passing as simple contact
Fickle the mind
Quick to disregard.
I’ll carry you across, she says
Carry you through
Hold on as long as you need
So long as words can pass unseen
Chase me
Follow me
Find me
I am your divide.
Dare hold for a moment more
Dare linger for a second
Conscious contact
Break our social contract
I’ll run so long as you’ll chase me
Hide, only so you can find me
Waiting here to carry you across
Carry you through
Back to silences you’d left behind.
-AJ Sandhu 2015

Siren

Wrecks behind the curtain
Can play the crowd
Make ‘em hang
On their every word

Out there in the glittering lights
Hide dreams you might never see

Pensive and broken
On the edge.
Always scared
They’ll see the lies inside.

You’re not the one
Just a siren,
Worried your silences
Will cause further investigation.

You make your noises
To drown out the voices
In your mind.

Hoping somewhere you can find
The silences you crave.

Bound by your dreams
How can what you love
Be splitting you at the seams?

Go on and play the crowd
Make ’em hang
On your every word

Don’t give them the chance
To find who you are
In your silences.

-AJ Sandhu 2015

Pretense

No one will find behind these eyes
All of the things I hide
If I pretend long enough
No one will ever find what’s mine.
I’ve worn the mask before
I know what it’s for
I’m not afraid
To sink into the masquerade.
Just shuffle through the faces
Find the one that fits
The one you need right now.
If you feign the strength long enough
Maybe you’ll make your own along the way
Maybe the love I fear
Is the one I should’ve killed long ago?
As long as there is fire burning deep inside
I’ll be able to find my way
As long as the face I wear is the one
The one I see in the mirror
I can never stray too far
From where I need to be.
So I can play in the masquerade
I can stay behind these veiled eyes
As long as no one knows what’s mine.
If I pretend to be what you know
Maybe even the face will change
Be better than who I am now.
There is no surrender
When wearing the mask
Just protecting your heart
Just letting it rest.
No shame in hiding
Behind strength you don’t own
No shame in wearing
The face you’ve made
Come join me

Let’s play in the masquerade.

-AJ Sandhu 2015

Weight of Guilt

I’m dreaming of a life
A life that might not exist
But maybe if I dream it enough
I can come close…I can come close..

Is ambition alone enough?
How many countless words discarded
Before settling close enough?

Always a whim away
We tell ourselves
Like a memory gate to yesterday
Regaled by the lies around me.

The illusion that time passes around us
That we’ll be fine when the morning comes
A false heartache of the mind
Justified sickness we can ignore.

What is this weight
I can’t seem to shake?
Should it have been me
For the ignorance to take?

I’m drowning in days,
Days that never seem to pass.
Treading on in hope
For the moment I look back.

Maybe I can do this?
Seems like I can live this?
With just a memory on my mind.

-AJ Sandhu 2015

Peddler of Dreams

She’s peddling, peddling dreams
By the seashore
She’s showing you, showing you things
You’d always suspected
But never known for sure
Saying the words you’d only heard in your mind.
She’s a wanderer,
Simple dreamer,
A soul led on a whim
She’ll be gone before the day breaks
Leaving only your dreams in her wake.
But she’s infected you to the core,
From just a look your way,
You don’t remember anything from before.
Because she’s peddling, peddling dreams
By the seashore
She’s showing you, showing you things
You’d always suspected
But never known for sure.
Saying the words you’d only heard in your mind.
She’s a wanderer
Simple dreamer
A soul led on a whim
She’ll never tell you what it takes
To keep her
But she’s a whim away

When you need her.

-AJ Sandhu

Paradise

You asked for another voice in the silence

Cause it was deafening in your mind
But in the sounds you heard
No words could be found.

Far up above me
Slower than my mortal coil;
Though faster than I’d ever understand,
Are galaxies colliding
With lives I’ll never know

It doesn’t mean I don’t want to
Just a consequence of this life
Born to die only when
We start to understand

If I could hold you though the darkness
We’d shine a light so bright
I’d have to deal with 
The shadows that we’d cast.

How can I hold something I’ve never had?
What is this unspoken understanding
Between two worlds hell-bent on colliding?

What the sun wouldn’t give
For a moment in the darkness
Only caving when her life is ending

I’m done with shallow words
Of what we should be
Lead me like inescapable darkness
Leads the light.

I’m here for the morning
Ever burning for moon’s light
Reflecting but never returning

I’m on the verge of surrender
Giving up on paradise
I never knew I had.

Is this the tragedy of our lives?
To fade away only when
We learn how to live?

I’ll hold on
To this precipice of hope
That maybe one day
A paradise will be mine
To hold again.

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