There are dreams you can’t surrender
Dreams built into your soul
Impossible ones that corrupt
Drag you out of the shadows
Make fools of you in the daylight.
Ones that leaves you to wander
Is it love? Or is it tyranny?
I am stagnated here
Groping around for a story I can’t interrupt.
Why only upsets me
How currently illudes me
But this is the fire in my blood,
I can feel it there,
Though my veins run cold.
Is this the cadence of my life?
Ample inspiration halted by lacking motivation?
Am I so weak I’ll wander the night
Evading the sun so it won’t cast shadows I can’t escape.
–AJ Sandhu 2016
I emptied myself into the singular pursuit.
My apathy, empathy, love, hatred, passion, motivation.
Everything belonged to my one purpose; telling the tale that burned in my chest.
Now I fear I’ve given too much.
I lost Derivation while I was surrendering the rest.
The one thing I was determined to keep is gone.
Without it, I’m not even a person.
So what now? What do I do now that the worst has happened?
How long do I stay away? How long will it take to fall in love again? Until my hands itch with words burning to see life on paper?
I don’t know.
I’m starting over. From the beginning. Tell me again, Alexander.
Stay good and keep transmitting