Delusions of Success

I’ll rage and I’ll cry about my dreams
Vaguely enough so you’ll feel
That someone, somewhere understands

Don’t take my empty promises
As substitutions for the words you need to hear
Cause I sing my laments
In sound-proofed studio rooms you’ve never known

You’ll canonize with my side of tale
My narrative nurtures dreams that the truth would kill
Don’t you see
I can never understand
What it means to lose every single time.

I’ll say your persistence will reward you
Opine that your talent is a virtue
That your voice hides secrets only you can share
Because I’m already there

I’ll tell you I know the way
One day your struggle will yield
It’s kinder than admitting life isn’t fair.

– AJ Sandhu 2016


Tyranny of Inspiration

There are dreams you can’t surrender
Dreams built into your soul
Impossible ones that corrupt
Drag you out of the shadows
Make fools of you in the daylight.

Ones that leaves you to wander
Is it love? Or is it tyranny?
I am stagnated here
Groping around for a story I can’t interrupt.

Why only upsets me
How currently illudes me
But this is the fire in my blood,
I can feel it there,
Though my veins run cold.

Is this the cadence of my life?
Ample inspiration halted by lacking motivation?
Am I so weak I’ll wander the night
Evading the sun so it won’t cast shadows I can’t escape.

AJ Sandhu 2016

Dispossessed

We’re not pieces on a chessboard
Built to be played however we choose
Life is not finite in what it could be.
I’m holding the hope
That the sins on my soul
Are not greater than
The forgiveness I’m asking for
There are no chosen kings
And queens of our world
Only fearful people hoping
Their confidence will disguise their lies
We’re all hiding from ourselves
Hoping our deepest devotions
Are never put to the test.
Victims of our baser urges
It’s what we feared
No hearts left to converge.
You’ve gone too far for me to find you
And after all, you never wanted me to.
-AJ Sandhu 2016

Human Plight

I don’t know where happiness lies
In this human plight
I just know there must be
Something better in this life

Have I earned the right to know
Earned the right to say
Or is this just another dream
Is this just another play

I’m sitting on the edge of today
But I haven’t earned the right to stay
I’m not part of this
I never was

I’m just here to show
At least someone cared
That someone was holding on
To all of the moments shared

Do I take a humble leave
Or do I keep holding on
Hoping that I break through
To what potential we had when this began

My patience is waning
Though this is nothing new
How long can I keep waiting
Before I give up on you?

I will never know where happiness
Lies in this human life
I just know there must be
Something better for which we flight.

AJ Sandhu 2015

Tragedy of the Commons

You stand and suffer in silence
You hold and suffer alone
Don’t let anyone in
Don’t let anyone see
Or they’ll find out you’re not
As strong as you seem.
And wouldn’t that be
The greatest tragedy of them all?
To know you’re just
As fallible as you feel.
Now stand and suffer dear
The cold dark humanity
Of a world bound by fear.
Our truest display
Most honest reality
Reverence for the ancestors
That carved their way
Into our genetic reams.
Refusing to see
All we despair
All we fear
Is the same everywhere.
Because we must be alone in the play
No one else would believe
Every tale’s been told before
Just players on a stage
Waiting for eternal leave.
Can’t you see
We’re the same?
You and I?
Regaled by
The beautiful lie
Only ourselves to blame.
-AJ Sandhu 2015

Divide

Here where silences grow
Of their own accord.
I’ll find my way back again
So let me wander
Where words scream aloud
Always knowing my silences
Are safe, until I need them most
Life changing with a moment
Words passing as simple contact
Fickle the mind
Quick to disregard.
I’ll carry you across, she says
Carry you through
Hold on as long as you need
So long as words can pass unseen
Chase me
Follow me
Find me
I am your divide.
Dare hold for a moment more
Dare linger for a second
Conscious contact
Break our social contract
I’ll run so long as you’ll chase me
Hide, only so you can find me
Waiting here to carry you across
Carry you through
Back to silences you’d left behind.
-AJ Sandhu 2015